Dealing with the Death of your Family Pet

Death is never an easy topic to talk about, least of all after the last two years we’ve had as a society. Today, we’re going to discuss how you deal with the death of your family pet. It’s a traumatic experience for everyone, especially if it’s your first pet. The chances are it will be your child’s first pet anyway, even if you’ve had many others before in different households. 

So, you’re in the difficult situation of dealing with the loss yourself while also helping a young child comprehend the loss of their pet. It isn’t easy, but here are a few tips and suggestions for what you should do:

Tell your children what happened

You’ve all heard stories of parents telling their kids that their pet went to live on a farm when they passed away, as an attempt to spare them the grief of the pet’s death. While this seems like a good thing to do, it really isn’t. Your child will just be confused wondering why the pet decided to go away, or why you let them. 

Instead, as hard as it may seem, you will have to explain to your children what happened. There’s no need to go into detail, just ensure they know that your pet sadly passed away. It will hurt them, but at least they can live with the closure of knowing that your pet is at peace and won’t be coming back. That’s the problem with lying about this; your kids can always hold hope that their pet might come back from wherever you said they’ve gone. Plus, they will eventually learn about it when they get older, and they might resent you for lying. 

Give everyone time to grieve

Losing a pet is genuinely like losing any other member of your family. This is something that people without pets don’t truly understand. When you have a dog or a cat that becomes part of your daily life, it is truly heartbreaking to see them go. We develop deep bonds with our pets, and they could have been with us through some dark and troubling times. Many people have had dogs or cats help them get through depressive periods in their lives. So, when they eventually die, it cuts super deep. 

Consequently, you should give yourself and the rest of your family as much time to grieve as possible. This might mean taking time off work or giving your kids some days off school. Don’t expect everyone to just get back into the swing of things right away, and don’t force yourself to try either! Understand that grieving is perfectly normal and you should take as long as you need before you feel capable of getting back to your usual routine. Grieve as a family, let your emotions pour out, and only start doing things when you are ready to do so. 

Hold a service for your pet

Some people scoff at the idea of holding a memorial service for a pet, but there’s nothing wrong with it at all. If anything, it is a perfectly healthy and normal thing to do that can help everyone with the grieving process. Holding a service lets you put some finality to the situation as you can see your pet laid to rest. A lot of families choose to cremate their pets, while others still prefer to bury them. It is entirely up to you which option you choose, but you can hold a service for them either way. 

This is an opportunity to gather as a family and share a few words about your pet and how much they meant to everyone. It is also a way of getting closure for you and your kids, so they can finally start to think about moving on. Two popular ideas include cremating your pet and holding a service in your garden where you will bury their ashes. Or, you cremate them and scatter their ashes at one of their favourite places – like the park they’d love to run around when you went on walks. 

Find ways to remember your pet

Holding a service for your pet is one way of remembering them after their death, but you should also think of ways to provide a constant reminder of them. There are plenty of different things you can do, but seeing as we were just talking about memorial services, it makes sense to introduce the idea of memorial stones. Companies like A Clarke Memorials can make you customised stones that include writing to memorialise your pet. If you buried them or their ashes in the garden, you can place one of these stones on the site as a constant reminder that they are with you.

Alternative ideas include lockets or other pieces of jewellery with ashes inside, meaning you carry around part of your pet wherever you go. Or, even simpler than this, you can create photo collages or frame a picture of your pet to keep on display forever. This is probably the best idea as it’s a constant reminder of them every single day. 

Consider getting a new pet

After you have grieved the loss of your pet, you might want to approach the idea of getting a new one. Families have a hard time dealing with this as it feels like an insult to your old pet. It’s like you’ve forgotten them and are ready to move on. In reality, you can still get a new pet and remember the old one. They will always have a place in your heart, but having a new pet can help you and your kids get over the devastating loss. Ask your kids how they feel about this, then start looking into getting a new pet when the time is right. 

Dealing with death is never going to be easy, no matter how many times you go through it. The sad reality is that you will go through a number of pets in your lifetime, purely because they don’t live as long as us. If you need help handling the loss of your family pet, the points in this guide will be a good start.