There is a certain tendency to see cats as standoffish, aloof, or just a little bit inscrutable. In the main, this way of looking at things tends to come from people who expect cats to be like dogs, but smaller. Cats do not care for this labelling; they have their own relationship with humans and it’s more selective, more subtle – and when they decide they like you, every bit as affectionate.
If you’re thinking of getting a cat, or have recently adopted one and are struggling to bond with it, it’s ideal to know the following. Because if you get to know your cat and treat it accordingly, you’ll be rewarded with some delightful personality traits.
Affection comes on their terms
A dog will walk right up to you and more or less demand a fuss, but a cat needs to be introduced at its own pace. Barging up and petting them without warning is much the same as walking up to a stranger and ruffling their hair – very rude and likely to have consequences.
Instead, offer your hand and wait. They may approach, sniff, and then decide whether they want to be fussed. If they do, they’ll headbutt your hand and accept a scritch – and once they have established this relationship, they’re as soft as any dog. Cats are loving creatures, they just need to be the ones to decide that.
They won’t tell you if they’re unwell
Every cat owner agrees that it would be great if their cat could talk. One major reason for this is that they’re not very demonstrative when they aren’t feeling great. In the wild, a cat who is visibly ill would be vulnerable to predators. This memory has been passed down even to the ones who sleep on pink fluffy beds. So if they aren’t feeling right, they may slip away to safe spots under beds or in wardrobes. It’s a survival instinct.
This hiding away doesn’t mean something serious is up, it just means they’re not feeling 100%. It’s worth consulting your usual vet or, if there are clear distress signals, reaching out to emergency vets. Your cat can’t tell you what’s wrong, so sometimes you need to take the initiative.
Your laptop? No, their laptop
Your cat will often see an open laptop as its territory. Even if you are typing on it, they can be quite determined about getting on your keyboard. Or a book you are reading, or a document you need to sign. The reason? You’re focusing on those things, and your cat has decided it’s time you focused on them. They won’t beg – they’ll just insert themselves directly in your eyeline, look straight at you, and tell you it’s “me time”.
This is also why some cats knock objects off shelves. It’s extremely cheeky and, if we’re being honest, very funny. But the message they’re conveying is “notice me”, and who could resist?
There will be times with a cat when you find yourself perplexed by their behaviour. They are often bizarre little creatures. But if you learn to tune in to the beat of their drum, you will come to appreciate what a joy it can be to have these furry friends in your life.
