It’s 7am on a school morning. You have barely had enough sleep but you are up on your feet ready to face the day i.e., prepare your child for a day of academic learning. During the time that you could be freshening up and taking a shower, you are running around helping your child brush their teeth, get dressed and comb their hair. However, doing this not only makes you rush every morning, but has a negative long-term effect on your child.
It is normal to want to help your child whilst they are small, but not teaching them independence will come back to bite the both of you later on in life when they struggle to do things alone. The outcome is usually a child who lacks independence, self-esteem and problem-solving skills. However, this problem is fixable. Here is some advice on helping your child become more independent.
Start gradually
Give your child notice before you introduce them to completing activities independently. If your child is used to you completing simple activities for them, a sudden change can be overwhelming for them. Take your time to talk through what will change and why these changes need to happen. Remember to use age sensitive words When talking to your child. This could be ‘I’m sorry I’ve been treating you like a little kid when you are ready to do big-people jobs now!’.
Make a list
Make a list of different things that your child could be doing themselves. This could be brushing their teeth, putting their socks on, combing their hair, eating their breakfast, getting their schoolbags together, putting their shoes on and even making their bed. Ask them which tasks they feel comfortable enough to take on as this will increase their willingness to try.
Don’t overwhelm
Ensure to introduce one responsibility at a time so that you don’t overwhelm your child. Keep a big window free so your child can comfortably complete their task. If it takes them 10 minutes to brush their teeth then wake up 10 minutes earlier every single day so they are able to manage the extra workload. You may be surprised as to what they can complete alone when they are not constantly managed.
Give praise
Praise them for their efforts. It may not be perfect or up to your standards at first, but that’s ok. The key is to focus on their hard work rather than the end result which will improve over time. Temporarily, share the workload until they have mastered it entirely by themselves.
